FREE TO LOVE | September 2018

📸 cred: https://harleyjayphotography.com I wrote this for an Instagram post for a ministry called Freedom Movement September 2018. It was interesting having only a certain number of letters allowed to fit in the post. I could’ve written many more words … Continue reading

Do you know what your doing in motherhood?

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.”‭‭James‬ ‭1:5-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

http://bible.com/97/jas.1.5-8.msg

This really hit me this morning. I am so glad that I have a plan when I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing! Two weeks ago a couple besties and I had nice cry sesh over a text thread about somethings going on and how we had no idea what we were doing. And the constant questioning whether or not we are failing our children. We were all encouraging eachother in the fact that we are all just trying our best, that we don’t know what we are doing, it’s hard, and that the Lord has enough grace to bless our strengths and cover our shortcomings. 

Last week I had a hilarious and so nourishing vent/comedy hour with some of my sisters and mom after a meeting at church. It had been a trying day and the weather was so hot making anything hard harder. As we stood out there in the cool air of the night we all confessed hilarious laugh/crying moments from the day or just motherhood. As we stood out there showing our worst, we all felt so great as we walked away knowing that we are okay, we aren’t failing, and we aren’t the only ones. As I thought about it that’s reason that I started this blog. My life has gone in a different direction by adding foster kids to it so time for this blog has not been possible but my heart for this connection is still there. I know there’s plenty of mom blogs out there but it’s so nice to have a channel to express myself. So I’d like to open up the invitation again to any moms having a laugh it or leave it thoughts to share, victories or disasters, Pinterest fails and DIY domination, whatever it it stirring your heart. 

Remember we have someone we can go it when we don’t know what we are doing and your doing a great job!

Sometimes it’s hard

The hubs said that my blogs start with downer stories but I’m just being real people. But sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s hard to just get out of bed bc it’s early and everyone is sleeping. Sometimes it’s hard to get a shower so you feel human. Sometimes it’s hard to get the dishes done so that it doesn’t look like a cafeteria with nobody working. Sometimes it’s hard have motivation to put away the laundry or even wash it. Sometimes it’s hard to be consistent with the little ones when all you want to do is look away and pretend you didn’t see whatever they did. Sometimes it’s hard to drive to a visit knowing how it will be. Sometimes it’s hard to make all the appointments knowing that I’ll be driving 2 little kids all day. Sometimes it’s hard to not think about how life was before we opened our house-fantasizing how easy it was. But that’s all that was just a fantasy because it was never easy. Sometimes it’s hard to think what will happen if she leaves our home. Sometimes it’s hard just to make it through the day with any patience left. Sometimes it’s hard to have anything left for my hubs or meetings at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s hard to do personal or spiritual growth because I’m so busy or just tired. Sometimes it’s hard to love! Sometimes it’s hard to think of others. Sometimes it’s hard to clean at the same mess you’ve already cleaned up three times in one day. Sometimes it’s hard to know if I’m doing all this well or messing it up. Sometimes just it’s hard period!

So I heard this song today it spoke to my heart to keep fighting. Keep fighting for what is right, for what is true, for love. I want to be fearless in my love for Christ and the knowledge that it IS splashing over to others. I want to be fearless and pushing away the lies they tell me that I’m not good enough, that I will fail my kids or hubs. I want to be fearless in my daily surrender. 

Anyway, I guess I am already fearless. I’m guessing you are too. When I choose peace in the midst of chaos, I am fearless. When we purposely walked our family into Foster Love knowing it would be hard and it would be messy and it would hurt – we are fearless. When I choose joy in the midst of stress I am fearless. When I suck it up, make a healthy dinner for my family and clean it up, I am fearless. When I brave the parking lot to try to get a parking space 1 minute before the kids get out of school, I am fearless (ok I’m joking about this one). When I make a new friend when I’m actually almost too tired to talk, I am fearless. When I stand up for all my kids, I’m fearless. When I pray over each of my children at night for protection, guidance, wisdom I am fearless!  I carry the love of the ultimate Father and He is love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love cast out fear…” 1 John 4:18a 

It’s time for me and you to own this. I am Fearless because the creator of all of this my friend, my Father, and my comforter. I’m not sure what you believe, you’re entitled to your own opinion but that knowledge is what makes me fearless. “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:25‬ ‭NLT‬

Chalkin

I’m an extrovert so I usually love the fast pace of the life that we have. I love all the different experiences my kids get to have as we journey through this life navigating all of the twists and turns but there’s something about an easy-paced-pajama-wearin-chalk drawin-cloudy-Lauryn Hill listening-playin-with-a-box-kind-a-day that makes my heart swell. 

Ecclesiastes 3 :1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Ever Feel Like You Could Some Space?

I do. At least a few times a day. What’s wrong with leaving a little teenie space between us? Like literally, just so we aren’t sweating on eachother for a little bit. Gotta watch this but maybe not around your kids … Continue reading