Another day at court

The proceeds of purchasing one of the shirts goes to fund a Facebook friend of mine’s adoption

Please send some prayers up for Little Miss Mercy’s future! We don’t know the plans that the Lord has for her but all we can do is trust. She has court today 🙏🏼

Beat down

So, I pretty much just got beat down by a two-year-old. And I don’t mean like in the semi cute way like they “kicked my butt all day by being two.” Like I literally got punched and slapped in the face and kicked. Over and over. And just when I thought that our little chat about hitting punching, pinching, and pulling hair had gotten through to her, she’d say “Okaaaay” very sweetly, and then sucker punch me in the face. Apparently, I’m the sucker that thought she was going to stop punching me in the face. So, then I gave her an early dinner so she wouldn’t have to wait for daddy to get home but apparently she wasn’t into dinner and a literally through it like a professional baseball player all over my entire dining area. On top of every surface and under. It looked like it was time for bed. I tried to be as sweet as possible as I took off her clothes, changed her diaper, put on her pajamas, brushed her teeth, read her favorite book, sang to her, and prayed for her. As I sang to her she slap me in the face again but then settled her head onto my shoulder and I could feel this little girl’s mixed up feelings start to drip off of her. She had a visit this morning and I can’t begin to imagine all the feelings and emotions taking place in her little body. 

A mama posted this on a foster Facebook page.
So as I move on with my evening and go to bed tonight I’m happy that she’s here-testing my patience- getting loved and safe. And I’m very thankful that his mercies are new every morning.

Pray for this Lil Miss Mercy! She’s got a court hearing next week. Pray for mercy over her life.

 

Chalkin

I’m an extrovert so I usually love the fast pace of the life that we have. I love all the different experiences my kids get to have as we journey through this life navigating all of the twists and turns but there’s something about an easy-paced-pajama-wearin-chalk drawin-cloudy-Lauryn Hill listening-playin-with-a-box-kind-a-day that makes my heart swell. 

Ecclesiastes 3 :1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Thankful

At the end of the night my head hits the pillow hard but without doubt my life is blessed. I treasure my family, the ones I was born into, the ones that married in, the ones I bore and the ones I didn’t. I’m thankful today and every day for all I have. My family isn’t perfect and we’ve had rocky spots here and there but I feel so blessed. None of it is really mine or even anything that I did. It’s all a gift and I love that today we can all look at the many arrows in our hands or even the lack of them and find the joy. Find it. Seek it. Speak it. Bless you all with the love that follows a thankful heart. “The earth is the Lord ʼs, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭24:1‬ “The earth is the Lord ʼs, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;”

Yes, this was the best pic of the fam that I looked good in. 😂

Sometimes…

Sometimes I look at them and almost cry bc time goes by so fast and I can almost picture him as a teenager scarfing popcorn and telling me something crazy that he saw that day. It makes me panic, for a quick second that I’m gonna miss this moment and I will be looking back wishing that I hadn’t. Telling me about the “very coolest toy” he found. Isn’t that the constant battle that we face as humans? Staying present but also moving forward at the same time. Homework, sports, parent visits, social worker visits, appointment, appointment, appointment, dentist, church, etc. Sometimes I feel like all I’m doing is moving forward. Those are the times that I begin to feel overwhelmed and like I can’t do it or I’m not doing it well. That my kids are going to need therapy because of me. They’ll say my mom took good care of me but she didn’t play or really hear my heart. 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

So after I made pumpkin pancakes and cleaned poop out of some underwear:  I went through the car wash like they have been asking, bought them popcorn at target, we played with bubbles in the backyard and I watched their faces light up every time they tried to pop it. I even shared the bubble wand. I let the mess up my bed to play where did my kids go? And then I gave them leftover pizza for lunch, tore peed sheets off a bed, and hurriedly put them in their beds because of their 2 & 3 year old naughtiness. 

I’d say today, I did ok being “here” and still putting in loads of laundry, cleaning up, and writing this. Maybe someday when my kids are grown, they’ll read this and know how much I love them and the fine balance I had to juggle between taking care of the whole child: body, soul, Spirit and also doing their laundry. 

Moment to moment. 

So reflective and grateful one moment and then the next I’m like, what is happening here? Miss Mercy is fitting right in with all of our activities and melts everybody’s heart instantly. We are figuring her out more and visa versa. She doesn’t run off when we are out and that’s a blessing. The boys are so awesome with her. We are taking everything day by day with her case and just pouring into her in the meantime. 

But you know what, parenting is hard and when there’s a lot it’s really hard. I’d never ever trade my life because I love it but it’s not for the faint of heart. And having such a big family I need Jesus more than ever. I’m very easily at the end of myself these days. Today we had a such an awesome day but it was tiring. We got home after a lot of soccer and fun but then, as any pastors wife on a Sat night knows, it’s off to the office, church, etc for the hubs. So here I am, everyone is tired, sweaty, hungry (including me). 4 sons all crazy and Miss M just following along with it all. Suddenly I’m like where am I? Who am I? Why do you have NO shoes? Who’s sock is this? You pooped in the shower? Who put silly putty on this comforter? Who peed all over the toilet? Why is there purple crayon on the white cabinets? Who’s wet towel? Who’s smelly soccer gear? Who’s fill in the blank with: water is dumped over, took all these books out, dumped this toy box out, left the iPad on the floor, clean laundry thrown everywhere, not eaten dinner, trash on the ground, ball is this, homework paper is here, etc… sometimes they all talk to me at the same time- each of them saying Mom/Mama before they say any words and I just shoot out answers or point at them for their turn. When I started this post 2/5 kids were actually crying. 

Life is so weird because I’m so concerned with soaking up my life and treasuring it but in next moment I just want to have a moment where I’m alone and nobody is talking to me. Where I can clean without someone uncleaning. I can put away paper and actually write on my calendar so I can keep my plates spinning. So I can just remember who I am. So I’m going to need to find a plan for this. Between normal life, 4 school pick ups, birth mom visits, social worker appointments, medical visits, laundry, dishes, shopping, cooking, cleaning, homework, stories, sports, church, school, etc I’m not figuring it out yet. I know I will, but I hope it’s sooner than later. 

Thanks for letting me share my heart and for a moment realize I’m just a human who loves a lot but can’t be perfect. Moment to moment I need more Jesus and less of me. I’m just human and we know humans can do great things but we can mess it all up as quick as my kids can trash their bedroom after I just cleaned it.  Or as quick as Miss Mercy can clear her bookcase of every book. I love you all. I truly  treasure your support and prayers. 


#recoveringperfectionist

Miss Mercy

Mi vida loca. I’m not gonna lie, I had some overwhelming moments today. Taking in a person that you don’t know and can’t tell you anything is rough. What do you like to eat? How do you like to eat it? Do you like milk? Do you like milk in a bottle? In a sippy cup? With a straw? In a cup? At night do I rock you? Do I just lay you down? Do I wait until you fall asleep? Do you still like to sleep with special blanket? Have you ever eaten a quesadilla? Are you allergic to peanuts? What’s your favorite song? Who are you missing from home? What was life like for you? Why are you so scared of brushing your teeth? Did something happen or have you just never brushed? What’s your favorite TV show? How you like to get your hair done? What time do you take a nap? Do you take naps? Do you have a nickname? When is your actual birthday? Do you like carrots? Nope, wait yes if they are sliced. Broccoli? No, but lettuce yes…

So many questions but we are just figuring it out a little at a time. I mean we’ve only know each other for 5 days.  I had a quick cry break. Sometimes I wonder what we are doing, then I look at Miss Mercy with her contagious smile and cackle laugh. That reminds me why. She is doing better here everyday and loves everyone. I said “I you” tonight for the 2nd time at bedtime. She blew kisses (after many rehearsals) at Elliott tonight.  Lots of learning, waiting, praying and powerless to any answers of our future together. Watching the sunset and my monkeys outside till dad got home gave me a little refreshment and perspective on how blessed I am. The Lord has shown this little one mercy by taking her out of a harmful situation and has shown us mercy by blessing us with her. She has s sweet spirit and playful personality. 

Thanks for all the prayers, gifts, hand me downs, and encouragement. I need it all 💕 These moments of reflection were brought to you by my amazing husband who is doing the dishes after working all day to provide for us. 


#momoffourboys #fostermom ❤️ #fiveisalot #yepwerecrazy #yesihavemyhandsfull #myheartistoo #love #foster #sacrifice #chosen

Day 1… 10/6/16

 Well, day one is done. Everyone is sleeping and we are about to now. After not sleeping last night we are REALLY praying that she sleeps all night. It’s been an exciting day full of ups and dips. We are all learning her personality, favorites, strength, struggles and it’s going to take awhile. She is having SO much fun with the boys.  It’s going to especially take some time building my bond with her since her mother has her issues. She’s been through so much in her life. Thank you for all the texts, comments, clothes etc. You guys don’t even know how it helps us (me) stay strong. It’s a way different ball of wax than a baby with pluses and minuses. Pray for peace and what’s best for this baby to happen quick. 

Starting again…

So tomorrow we will be starting our foster journey again! We will be taking into our home a 22 month old baby girl. We are excited to begin this new journey and asking for prayer! If you are local we would love any clothes 18 months to 2T. Ah! Here we go again! About to get on the roller coaster! Nervous but excited about what God will do this time. Had such a great experience with our first placement and we are expecting God to do something new this time as well! Thanks for walking down this path with us in love, support, and prayers. 

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