As my #browneyedbabyj approaches 4.5 years, I watch him moving away from baby and into little boy. The feeling of excitement, pride, and relief even gets swirled with loss of a season. A time when all my boys are little and they are happy with simple. When graham crackers make the afternoon amazing or a smoothie makes everyone happy. The games change, the music requests change, the speech immaturities resolve. Bruder turns to brother, wewwy turns to really and ate it all gone turns to finished. I’m sitting at the DMV watching all these parents sit with their nervous kids taking their behind the wheel and I know my time is coming soon to be sitting in one of these hard blue chairs with my oldest boy. One of my friends posted a pic of her oldest playing around with his sisters 2 weeks before he leaves for college. Makes me misty eyed and faklempt.
But isn’t this what we all want as parents? We want to see our children growing up and maturing. We want to see their independence. This IS what I strive for as a parent but along the way I grieve the loss as I watch the moments slip away- like the tiny shell he lost at the beach the other day. It’s gone but we found and new one. It wasn’t the same but it was a little bigger and just as beautiful. I guess that’s what I’m feeling in my spirit as I watch my kids get their wings and fly a little. Some are flying further out and some are still close but the knowledge that they will all be soon flying on their own helps me to cherish the crazy times now. Deep breath. This season that seem never ending; rewarding but all encompassing. Sweet. Sticky. Close. Dirty. Kisses. I’m excited for my future as a mom but for today I’m feeling super blessed to have all these little people under my wings.
Go love your season!