Sometimes it’s hard

The hubs said that my blogs start with downer stories but I’m just being real people. But sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s hard to just get out of bed bc it’s early and everyone is sleeping. Sometimes it’s hard to get a shower so you feel human. Sometimes it’s hard to get the dishes done so that it doesn’t look like a cafeteria with nobody working. Sometimes it’s hard have motivation to put away the laundry or even wash it. Sometimes it’s hard to be consistent with the little ones when all you want to do is look away and pretend you didn’t see whatever they did. Sometimes it’s hard to drive to a visit knowing how it will be. Sometimes it’s hard to make all the appointments knowing that I’ll be driving 2 little kids all day. Sometimes it’s hard to not think about how life was before we opened our house-fantasizing how easy it was. But that’s all that was just a fantasy because it was never easy. Sometimes it’s hard to think what will happen if she leaves our home. Sometimes it’s hard just to make it through the day with any patience left. Sometimes it’s hard to have anything left for my hubs or meetings at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s hard to do personal or spiritual growth because I’m so busy or just tired. Sometimes it’s hard to love! Sometimes it’s hard to think of others. Sometimes it’s hard to clean at the same mess you’ve already cleaned up three times in one day. Sometimes it’s hard to know if I’m doing all this well or messing it up. Sometimes just it’s hard period!

So I heard this song today it spoke to my heart to keep fighting. Keep fighting for what is right, for what is true, for love. I want to be fearless in my love for Christ and the knowledge that it IS splashing over to others. I want to be fearless and pushing away the lies they tell me that I’m not good enough, that I will fail my kids or hubs. I want to be fearless in my daily surrender. 

Anyway, I guess I am already fearless. I’m guessing you are too. When I choose peace in the midst of chaos, I am fearless. When we purposely walked our family into Foster Love knowing it would be hard and it would be messy and it would hurt – we are fearless. When I choose joy in the midst of stress I am fearless. When I suck it up, make a healthy dinner for my family and clean it up, I am fearless. When I brave the parking lot to try to get a parking space 1 minute before the kids get out of school, I am fearless (ok I’m joking about this one). When I make a new friend when I’m actually almost too tired to talk, I am fearless. When I stand up for all my kids, I’m fearless. When I pray over each of my children at night for protection, guidance, wisdom I am fearless!  I carry the love of the ultimate Father and He is love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love cast out fear…” 1 John 4:18a 

It’s time for me and you to own this. I am Fearless because the creator of all of this my friend, my Father, and my comforter. I’m not sure what you believe, you’re entitled to your own opinion but that knowledge is what makes me fearless. “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:25‬ ‭NLT‬