Chalkin

I’m an extrovert so I usually love the fast pace of the life that we have. I love all the different experiences my kids get to have as we journey through this life navigating all of the twists and turns but there’s something about an easy-paced-pajama-wearin-chalk drawin-cloudy-Lauryn Hill listening-playin-with-a-box-kind-a-day that makes my heart swell. 

Ecclesiastes 3 :1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Thankful

At the end of the night my head hits the pillow hard but without doubt my life is blessed. I treasure my family, the ones I was born into, the ones that married in, the ones I bore and the ones I didn’t. I’m thankful today and every day for all I have. My family isn’t perfect and we’ve had rocky spots here and there but I feel so blessed. None of it is really mine or even anything that I did. It’s all a gift and I love that today we can all look at the many arrows in our hands or even the lack of them and find the joy. Find it. Seek it. Speak it. Bless you all with the love that follows a thankful heart. “The earth is the Lord ʼs, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭24:1‬ “The earth is the Lord ʼs, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;”

Yes, this was the best pic of the fam that I looked good in. 😂

Sometimes…

Sometimes I look at them and almost cry bc time goes by so fast and I can almost picture him as a teenager scarfing popcorn and telling me something crazy that he saw that day. It makes me panic, for a quick second that I’m gonna miss this moment and I will be looking back wishing that I hadn’t. Telling me about the “very coolest toy” he found. Isn’t that the constant battle that we face as humans? Staying present but also moving forward at the same time. Homework, sports, parent visits, social worker visits, appointment, appointment, appointment, dentist, church, etc. Sometimes I feel like all I’m doing is moving forward. Those are the times that I begin to feel overwhelmed and like I can’t do it or I’m not doing it well. That my kids are going to need therapy because of me. They’ll say my mom took good care of me but she didn’t play or really hear my heart. 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

So after I made pumpkin pancakes and cleaned poop out of some underwear:  I went through the car wash like they have been asking, bought them popcorn at target, we played with bubbles in the backyard and I watched their faces light up every time they tried to pop it. I even shared the bubble wand. I let the mess up my bed to play where did my kids go? And then I gave them leftover pizza for lunch, tore peed sheets off a bed, and hurriedly put them in their beds because of their 2 & 3 year old naughtiness. 

I’d say today, I did ok being “here” and still putting in loads of laundry, cleaning up, and writing this. Maybe someday when my kids are grown, they’ll read this and know how much I love them and the fine balance I had to juggle between taking care of the whole child: body, soul, Spirit and also doing their laundry.