It’s been 1 year of me being a dog owner! The way that happened is not ordinary.
God still speaks and it doesn’t sound like a grouchy boss. He is speaking for our good and sees the long term plan. I know some of you all think I’m crazy because you don’t believe that God speaks. But Luna coming into our lives is from the Lord telling me to get a dog.
If you know me well, you know this had to be an act of God. I’ve never wanted a dog, I’ve never really liked dogs. I mean of course I think puppies are cute and I’m not mad at dogs I just never wanted to have to take care of one.
My second born son has been desperate for a dog all his life. His nickname is even been E puppy. Every persuasive essay that he wrote from the third grade on was about why a dog is the best pet and why you should get one. Of course I felt like a cold hearted mother every time I read those essays. The thought of getting a dog made me feel like I was being pushed off a 400 foot cliff with sharp rocks below me. I had no idea how to take care of a dog or how much work it would be to clean up after it from a long day of destroying my yard. Would it make my house smell like a dog? Just way too many unanswered questions.
The Lord started telling me to get a dog and reminded me that one of my prayers is to help me not regret anything. I want to look back at the end of my life satisfied that I have done everything he’s asked me to do and I have experienced everything there was for me to experience. So I started casually looking for a hypoallergenic non-shedding dog. We all know the most popular one is Labrodoodle. I wanted a medium size one which was totally out of my price range. But the thought of it still would make fear literally rushed through my entire body and I would feel overwhelmed with the thought. I went to my dear friends and had a powerful prayer session and was delivered from so many things. The craziest thing that I got delivered from was this overwhelming fear that having a dog would somehow break me. The next day I checked craigslist for puppies and found a picture of Luna. She was a Wharton terroir, which I had just seen on the top 10 list of non-shedding hypoallergenic dogs for families. When I saw the picture I just knew that that was my dog. I slept on it and didn’t say anything to Matt. We went to church the next morning came home took Sunday naps and after that I told them that I thought I had found our dog. He was absolutely shocked and was like okay.
I had been saving money for installing windows in my family room that I had wanted for nine years. When I inquired about the amount of the dog, it was the exact same amount that I had saved. We put the kids in the car went to the ATM and pull the money out without telling them where we were going. We literally didn’t even have a dog bowl and I had no idea how to take care of a puppy. I just knew that we needed to get this dog it was important for my sons and I could feel the father’s heart and all of it as I traded my window money for a dog I didn’t want. When we told the kids I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my body with excitement for them to experience this new adventure. There’s so much more to the story including somebody telling me that they wanted to pay to put my windows in for me and professionally install them. But that’s another testimony.
When we went to pick her up the moon was absolutely huge and orange so we named her Luna. Of course we thought that name was super unique and everybody and their brothers dog or cat is named Luna but that’s all right it’s perfect for her. She’s added so much joy to my kids lives and I’m so very glad that I obeyed the gentle whisper even when everything inside me wasn’t ready.
The whole story reminds me so much of how much the Lord loves to give us our hearts desire. My heart was so full as we drove home with my kids so excited for what the future held for them. I knew a taste of what he was feeling and what he had planned when he gave me the windows that I had wanted. Both of these things are not serious matters that you think that the Lord would have a hand in but that’s just how crazy he is. He is in the bag and he’s in the small he’s in the frivolous sometimes and he is in the most deep moment as well. He literally created everything as big as the universe and as small as the nucleus of an atom. It majorly trips me out and I’m constantly in awe of him. If you have never heard God and you want to please message me. He’s so faithful And sometimes you just might not hear him because you’re not used to his voice yet.
Pretty fun craft night at the boys school tonight. To be honest my little kids were so disobedient this afternoon that I wasn’t sure that they should even go. When we were on our way to drop off the big boys for youth night, I was kind of talking out loud wondering what I was missing in my parenting… I asked the question out loud, “What am I missing?
2.5 years into our foster story and 4 foster kids later- I can tell you no. No, I can’t handle it. I have reached my own limits time after time but at the end is exactly where my Jesus picks it up. When I’m anxious about the future or dealing with behaviors- He is there. When my schedule seems nuts or my heart feels like it can’t be repaired- He is with me. He is there when I have to learn to trust that He’s with each child and bio parent. What I can’t do on my own strength, I can do because of Him. After my longest placement left- I thought I may need to guard my heart going forward. I didn’t know if I had more to give. I didn’t know how I’d recover. Sometimes loving is scary. But the thing is, I know true love. By knowing that, I have a freedom to love because there is always more. I have a freedom to trust Him because I am His girl. So, we will look to the future and we will love. He doesn’t give us what we can handle, He gives us more so He can show up and get the glory. It’s all His anyway. So let Him love you and He can use you in amazing ways when you know that. “…but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor. 13:13
B O Y S
W A V E Y 🌊
She always swatted us all on the bums and made sure to kiss us each time we greeted hello and goodbye. She was so funny and had a great laugh. She was stubborn and sassy. She’s let us make a huge mess in her closet dressing up in her clothes & heels, using her makeup, nail polish and of course her big powder puff after the bath. 
To think of all she’s seen in the last 98.5 years?! From terrible wars to the iPhone. She was a first generation American to two Russian Jews. They both crossed the Atlantic ocean as kids on boats, came through Ellis Island, and met in New York. She met my cute Poppa in the Bronx and they got married. 
Her mom passed away when she was young but that didn’t stop her from learning how to be Mom to four, Grandma to ten, and GGMay to eighteen. She was a mom till the end- huge heart. She loved every one of her kids- including all the foster girls in and out. She even stayed up all night stressing while my cousin’s wife was delivering their twins at the beginning of this month. She literally had a dream she was delivering them just to help out my cousin’s wife. She was laughing when she told us about it. She could be heard bragging at all times about any of her family members, ready to put up a fight if needed. You could count on her to be thinking about the in’s and out’s of all her kids lives. Her mind was so clear for a 98 year old, a little crazy at times, but remembering things from long ago. Just a blessed life.
She spent her last days surrounded by her beloved family and caretakers. She was sung over and reminded about who she is to us. Such a special slice of the image of God was in this one. She passed so peacefully with her special caretaker (and new “cousin” to us) Mona, her only daughter and our Poppa’s original sweet girl, and my parents by her side.
MAMAS LIVING THE DREAM 